I'm a bit confused (which is a normal state for me at the moment lol)- I have read a few threads today, just to see others stories and their journeys. There seems to be a lot of references to their ex/h/w MlC'er being angry, nasty and aiming it all at them one minute and nice, apologetic the next - Jekyll/Hyde types. Plus a lot of communication -texts, emails, calls etc.

Are there different kinds of MLC ?

As my H is not like that at all. He has not got angry at me - quite the opposite. Says he is sorry for not being the man I married and the man I deserve. Said that I should be as angry towards him I as feel necessary as I didn't ask for this and if I can come out of this not hating him he will be humbled by that.

He said he feels guilt and selfish and he hates himself, it eats away at him. He said it comes in waves, then passes.

But then - he is off out, living life to the max and does what ever he wants, whenever he wants at what ever cost - emotionally, physically and financially. He is back with OW and her kids playing happy families.

We have not had any contact for the past 4 weeks, which is a new thing for him - (i know; expect zero.) This does not sound like a man in turmoil to me.

I am starting to think that I am being gullible; is he just playing me with the sympathy card? I have told him that I don't hate him, that I don't like him sometimes, but definitely not hate him. I also told him that I will always be there for him if he needs me - but know that he won't take me up on that as he has OW there for him now.

I have done and said to him all I can. I have allowed him knowledge that my door is open to talk so its up to him whether he uses it now.

I am going away this weekend with a girlfriend, we are going on a road and train trip. Then next weekend I am seeing my best girlfriends for a few days of madness - I belong to the Sisterhood of the Travelling Egg - can't explain that one really - 4 women, lots of alcohol and very silly imaginations - needless to say, 1 very eggstra crazy idea and its stuck. Then its on the countdown until my big move/trip

So I am GAL - but still miss him, still have waves of sadness and tears most days, still can't get him to leave my head. Ever hopeful that one day I may get that call - the one we all hope for.