Trying Again

[topgunmb]

It's been awhile, but thought I'd stop by again. I wish I could say good things have happened. Some have in other areas of life, but sadly, things with W seem to have reverted so far as to make hope feel like a pinprick of light in the very far distance.

Lately, I've been improving my art skills, and have started writing the outline for a book I've been wanting to write for a long time now. I finally entered a contest that I've always wanted to. I've started a new workout program that's kicking my backside, and finding ways to make the most of the time I have to spend with the kids while working from home.

W continues to be cold and distant. A simple goodbye seems to much. Now, she wants to take the kids camping on Thanksgiving for a couple of days because she has the time off and "doesn't get to see them that often." I have to laugh because she has every opportunity she would like to see them, she just chooses not to. She's already planning on going to her family's for Christmas this year and then we'll do gifts from Santa when she gets back. It breaks my heart that the kids will be without both parents for Christmas this year again. I know this happens to lots of families, but Christmas is such a special time of year to me and I wish that the kids didn't have to go through this.

Ok, that's my vent for now. W texted all of this to me tonight and I finally just had to tell her that I needed time to process. I felt myself close to a stupid emotional response and thought it best to take some time until I could come up with a good response.