SS, small steps, big ones, backward ones, all count...as long as you are moving.
You need to live your life as if you have heard and accept that your h doesnt want to be married at this time. That thought helped me figure out how to act.
It meant that I had to learn to rely on me. I hung shelves, did dry wall, fixed toilets. I learned more about finances. I would not call him or ask him to do anything. And I did it, SS.
That also means that he has to live with what he has decided. That includes no longer just comimg over. Sorry, but, he cant have it both ways.
I sense that you are a little afraid to set that boundary. What is that fear about?
It will be better for your daughter to know what is happening, too, when she knows he is seeing her and for how long. Children need that structure.
Yea, I get the manipulation. I also know that the anger keeps you stuck. It keeps you in the bad moments. It stops you from moving forward with your life because you can hold onto it and use it as an excuse.
I will tell you that once you let the anger go and once you start doing things for yourself without asking him for help or running things by him, you will start to feel more in control.
This is your life, S. Start living it. Leave him to whatever it is he is doing. Not your problem right now.
You can do this. Get good and strong. What an amazing opportunity for your daughter to see that. She is watching. Trust me on that.
He can only be as manipulative as you allow him to be. Dont allow it.
