When we moved in together, I was 39. We stopped using contraception and decided we would leave things in the lap of the gods. TBH, I've always been a bit ambivalent about having children, but I felt if it happened, and 'we' became pregnant, I'd be really pleased.

Anyway it never happened & I had an early menopause. TBH, we always had a great family life with SS14, and I was content that this was our family. It is weird that H doesn't seem to view us as a 'family' now and wants a new one. He & I did tentatively talk about adoption at points. I wasn't really in favour, and he wasn't pressing for it - so it wasn't something we pursued.

In talks since we S, he has said all of this is an issue for him. But he has also said it isn't central to things. Except now he seems to have decided that it is - albeit he hasn't told me this himself...

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus