XH continues to lash out at us, punishing and humiliating us at every turn.
Everything I say to him, every action or communication, is turned into a move in a ruthless game of chess that he must win.
When he rang to announce he was going to stop paying S16's school fees, I basically said to him what I outlined in my above post - that it would be extremely hard for S16 to lose this last vestige of his old life, and that I was worried because he had voiced suicidal-type notions, previously, in relation to various deprivations and lifestyle changes that were happening due to XH's leaving of us.
Well, today, S16 was pulled from class and sent to see the school 'counsellor' (basically, a teacher with some psych training in his education degree). Please note that I have post-grad qualifications in psych and have worked in the field for 35 years (indeed to add insult to injury, OW is an ex-student of mine who once told me she wanted to be 'just like me'. I didn't realise she meant having my spouse as well!!)
Anyway, it was obvious that XH had told them a story about S16 - but not that he was going to cease paying school fees, nor that he refuses to pay child support!
I haven't told S16 that XH is going to stop paying his school fees from now on.
The boy is sitting his final exams in a week's time and he's trying very hard to score an 'A' for a couple of subjects so he can take an accelerated class that the school offers next year.
So, S16 is in the dark as to why he's being pulled out for special questioning by the teacher-counsellor. He, of course, said that everything was 'fine' - he had no idea what was going on and he was just asked "Is everything going OK?" in a very round-about way.
What a piece of absolute work this XH turns out to be. He will sacrifice any of us to his own desire to be right and to have control over our lives. I think our only option may be to cut our losses and refuse, absolutely, to have anything more to do with him ever again.
He is toxic and dangerous.
Sorry that I sound so vicious and negative... normally our lives are going along well, it's just that XH keeps coming back at us over and over again, even 3-and-a half years down the track.
I don't understand why he is insisting on meeting me on Wednesday to 'discuss' the fact that he is going to stop paying S16's school fees.
Obviously I would be wasting my breath trying to convince him of the importance of the school to S16's emotional well-being.
I wonder why i should even bother going - although if I don't, he will maintain to anyone who will listen that I refused to speak to him about it and therefore it is my fault.
