S, I know with all that’s happened to you, that you are feeling as if what you knew to be true wasn’t. And that you are doubting yourself. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. You felt you learned from your first marriage and this wouldn’t happen.
The truth is that we don’t really know what life has in store. There are no guarantees and we have no control of how others will act.
So, we begin to doubt ourselves. We start to feel we cant trust our instincts.
But learning to trust ourselves again is crucial to our wellbeing. It’s why we have to get strong and confident. When we do, we realize that when life throws us curves, we know we will be ok.
It’s a choice to either believe in yourself or allow yourself to be sucked into feelings of self-doubt. It’s easy to get lost in self-doubt when we forget to take care of our own needs.
The person you need to trust first is yourself. No one can be as supportive of you as you can learn to be. Trusting yourself means that you can take care of your needs and safety. It means you trust yourself to survive situations and do the best you can. It means you refuse to give up on yourself and you stay true to who you are.
I know there is a part of us that feels inadequate after having gone through something like this, and so we have a very difficult time believing that we know enough or are competent enough to be trusted.
I think we get disappointed in ourselves that we didn’t see this coming and we should have.
I think for you, having your xh say all those things, really unsettled you. It made you questions things. And it brought back all those feelings of you allowing him to do what he did. You have to forgive yourself that, S. You got out when you could.
I say this to myself sometimes. “I forgive myself for letting myself down. I learn and grow with each disappoint and understand I cannot control the actions of others.”
