Hey sweetie. So, you're angry cuz this all succks, right? I mean really, you didnt sign up for this.
You have to go through all the stages of grief. Sometimes you go through and back around again. Doesnt happen in a straight line. You just dont want to stay stuck in any one stage.
Here's the thing about the anger part. It can be used to propel you forward and that's a good thing. The bad part about it is the bitter part. Thats not good for anyone.
So, you are angry that he gets to decide what he wants regardless of how it affects anyone else. The thing is that you cant control anyone else but you. You cant expect that he should have a plan. You cant control if he does the work.
The only one you can control is you. When I was going through this, it was important to me what I saw when I looked back on this part of my life. Who did I want to see?
I realized that it wasnt what I wanted, but, I would be damnnned if I was going to allow him to take anymore than he had already taken. That makes me a victim and I aint one.
I used my anger to make sure that he wasnt getting anymore of me. Not one part. By that I mean, I wasnt going to allow what he was doing to change who I wanted to be. I wasnt going to allow his decisions to impact mine. I wasnt going to let what he said or did affect what I did. Nope. Wasnt gonna happen.
So I decided that he can make his decisions, and I sure as heck was going to make mine. And mine were that I was going to become the person I was meant to be. I was going to use this time to become strong. I was going to take care of my son and teach him how to handle life's tough stuff.
And nothing that my h was going to do, was going to throw me off MY path. Ever. In any way.
Leave him to his ridiculousness. You do what you need to do for you.
And you should start by not allowing him to just show up whenever he feels like it. Not to punish. But because you deserve to be respected.
Get back on your path, SS. Dont give him any more power. Take it back.
