I would venture to say that your h never left his crisis. He may have been simmering for a while and it picked up where he left off in full throttle. Sounds like he had a lot on his plate and it blew his fuse, so to speak. It appears that the promotion and your son leaving home may have jump started him once again.
Sometimes this happens whereby they start the crisis and then continue on in a slow simmer until something else tips the scales. There are times when something or someone will snatch them back into reality when they've entered the crisis and they appear to be back to normal. When this happens, the mlcer will eventually go back into crisis and the second time around it will be worse. Not saying that you or something snatched him back, but there have been cases such as this.
You've got a good handle on what you need to do. Remember...you didn't break him, therefore you can't fix him. Keep your expectations very low or even at zero. Keep the focus on you and your family. Above all else, take care of yourself. It's not you, but him that is very lost right now. Dig deep for patience, understanding and compassion for him because it will be a very painful journey for him because he's running from everything right now. You, on the other hand, are facing everything up front and center. Your healing will be far quicker than his because of this.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
