I think a DB coach would benefit you greatly because their objective is to save your marriage. They are well educated and specifically trained in this specific area of marriage counseling. And I strongly believe you should be working with a professional counselor who is specifically trained to deal with families and marriages in crisis.
However, you asked me a very specific question so I want to give you a specific answer. The first half of your question was:
Do you think if I could scrape up a couple of sessions with a DB coach it would be worth it…
My response is:
No. I do not believe you should scrape up a couple of session with a DB coach.
Your addictive personality places you in a unique category for therapy. This means simple behavior modification techniques won’t work for you. In your case there has to be substantive change in how you think, act, and perceive.
You need to be in therapy for a very long time. I do not believe it is a good idea to have a couple of counseling sessions with the intent of leaving. In fact, I believe it is destructive and I believe they will tell you the same thing. In order for therapy to be effective time and trust must be built.
This is impossible in only a couple of sessions.
It seems the big issue for you is money. This is a huge issue for a lot of people when it comes to therapy.
This is why I urge you to contact your church to discuss pastoral counseling. They will also be able to direct you to other free options through the church. They should have a resource list with information about support groups.
The second half of your question was:
…or is my time better spent with your suggestion of building a network of people who want your marriage to succeed and equipping them with the DB/DR information, books and tools?
It is not an “either” “or” situation. You should be building network of people who want your marriage to succeed whether you utilize a DB counselor or not.
The reason you build this network is to surround yourself with people who genuinely cheer for a successful resolution to your marital crisis. Then, when you have a terse interaction with your wife they remind you that everyone has bad days. They can give you a story about when they faced a similar crisis and how it resolved successfully.
Communities build strong marriages and strong families because we feel obligated to explain our bad behavior. Just like we expect to be rewarded for our good behavior.
So I strongly encourage you to begin building a network. I think this would be a very positive thing to do.[/i][i]
