This is probably my last thread in Newcomers. As I am now fully D, there's probably a better place for me
Thread title comes from Shakespeare's Sonnet 12:
I find no peace and all my war is done, I fear and hope, I burn and freeze like ice
The DB process continues, mostly GAL and working on me. The holidays are upon me, and house cleaning and craigslisting are my primary activities lately! I'm picking up a bed for the guest room and some new lamps for my bedroom tomorrow.
I feel melancholy in the evenings when my children are with her. I want my marriage back most at those times. Otherwise, pretty good PMA. I am trying to get new pictures up and XW's stuff out of my direct view. I doubt she'll get most of her remaining stuff before the Christmas-New Year break. She has a deadline of 1 JAN before I start auctioning it all off. Meanwhile it's taking up space in the converted garage/family room.
I find myself fantasizing about just throwing in the towel and starting fresh with someone new. Actually perusing the personals in Craigslist and whatnot. So many folks just trying to connect, to make something good happen (and some less than savory characters as well!). That doesn't last long. It's like a phantom - a figure in the mist. It isn't real.
So I pray that God will open a door for my wife that leads one day to reforge our marriage. LotR ref: I have a picture in my mind like when the elves of Rivendell reforged the Shards of Narsil into the Flame of the West: Anduril. That's what I want.
Gonna get some rest. Hey - some good news. My Puppy Nina had a "cherry eye" that I was going to get surgery on. It popped back into place unassisted. So now I only have to pay for the spay.
I'm so random.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
