This is probably my last thread in Newcomers. As I am now fully D, there's probably a better place for me
Thread title comes from Shakespeare's Sonnet 12:
I find no peace and all my war is done, I fear and hope, I burn and freeze like ice
The DB process continues, mostly GAL and working on me. The holidays are upon me, and house cleaning and craigslisting are my primary activities lately! I'm picking up a bed for the guest room and some new lamps for my bedroom tomorrow.
I feel melancholy in the evenings when my children are with her. I want my marriage back most at those times. Otherwise, pretty good PMA. I am trying to get new pictures up and XW's stuff out of my direct view. I doubt she'll get most of her remaining stuff before the Christmas-New Year break. She has a deadline of 1 JAN before I start auctioning it all off. Meanwhile it's taking up space in the converted garage/family room.
I find myself fantasizing about just throwing in the towel and starting fresh with someone new. Actually perusing the personals in Craigslist and whatnot. So many folks just trying to connect, to make something good happen (and some less than savory characters as well!). That doesn't last long. It's like a phantom - a figure in the mist. It isn't real.
So I pray that God will open a door for my wife that leads one day to reforge our marriage. LotR ref: I have a picture in my mind like when the elves of Rivendell reforged the Shards of Narsil into the Flame of the West: Anduril. That's what I want.
Gonna get some rest. Hey - some good news. My Puppy Nina had a "cherry eye" that I was going to get surgery on. It popped back into place unassisted. So now I only have to pay for the spay.
I'm so random.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
Hey man, I'm not posting much lately, but I want you to know I'm praying for you. I hope your wife softens her heart someday soon. The holiday season may have an effect on her, who knows?
M 16 T 17 W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14 ILYBNIL 5/14 A discovered 6/14 D papers served via USPS 8/14 Filed my response 9/14 D final 5/15...
I hope Nina's eye stays good... our pup had the same problem. I was able to massage the tear duct back in but it kept popping out again he had to have surgery eventually.
Shakspr, there's a book that helped me a lot; the goal is to help you fully grieve and learn from a breakup before you move on to a new relationship or reunite with your W.
I hope you end up doing community theatre, because I think you'd be grand at it.
M:54, H:55 T:33, M:27 12/13 BD: EA 01/14 BD: PA, H leaves 03/14 H & OW break up 05/14 H says he will file for D 08/14 H initiates D 09/14 H wants to R 12/14 Still bungling our way through R
Nitty, I'd love to do theatre again - I have 't done any drama since high school. Just gotta figure out the time thing! My commute is an hour, and I end up using a lot of my time for fitness.
Saw Interstellar in IMAX today. Amazing!
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
I find myself fantasizing about just throwing in the towel and starting fresh with someone new. Actually perusing the personals in Craigslist and whatnot. So many folks just trying to connect, to make something good happen (and some less than savory characters as well!). That doesn't last long. It's like a phantom - a figure in the mist. It isn't real.
So I pray that God will open a door for my wife that leads one day to reforge our marriage.
I know exactly what you mean. Hang in there man. I pray for you and your situation most every night.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Hello, folks. All is well. I have the kids tonight for church, and then back to school tomorrow. Then Friday for 10 days straight. Then family, etc. Should be a big mood elevator all the way around.
In general, the lows aren't as low these days, but there are few highs. Kinda blah. I do think almost constantly about my sitch - sort of a pensive, waiting, planning, hoping, slightly lost feeling.
You know, recently divorced.
I found my missing reading glasses, though!
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
That's interesting. I don't feel lost. I feel purposeful and even kind of happy. Except that I'm missing a chunk of myself. Not a vital chunk... Maybe a pinky finger, or an earlobe. But there is a chunk of me that is definitely missing.
You need more GAL! That will help with the lost feeling. I need... What? I don't think I need any more GAL -- I couldn't fit any in at the moment. I do want to try the salsa lessons, though.
Enjoy the kids and glad you found your readers.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
I do need something offbeat for GAL- unexpected, etc. I' e just been so busy trying to create order in my home. To control what I can control. And overtime and business travel have been a factor as well.
I think the lost feeling still stems from how fast my stuff went down, how long I went thinking it was all on me, & now hoping & praying for a miracle while XW develops a R with her affair partner.
Church tonight was great. Kids are practicing for Christmas program. I'm trying to seek God daily and discover his plan for me.
Puppy got spayed today. Poor thing. I pick her up tmrw.
G'nite, all.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
Maybell, I feel like a huge chunk is missing from me. Like a right arm or something.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
