19th Thread - Invincable Summer

[TSquared2]

I know your W ended this, but do you think more time could possibly have resulted in a different result?

Thinking more about this, Wet, they say the MLC is on THEIR timeline, and no one knows what it is. The LBS gets to decide how long they are willing/can wait.

In one of the talks we had, shortly after she ended the marriage, she talked more about finding herself, that she got lost in the role (that she loved) of being a young Mom with young kids, and when the 2 younger ones started moving into independence and away from her full time, of them needing her so much, her "life ended". Ironically this is the same summer her father died.

And once she found herself again, she wanted to date, because she missed out on that in her teens and twenties due to her issues.

The take away I had at the time..."replay" in full combat gear, nothing holding her back. And knowing her the way I do, I realized I had to let her go, this would never go away until she actually did it.

In Star Trek, Mr. Spock had the famous line "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one"...all this time I thought she was the one and the boys and I were the many. But I finally realized that fear up there ^^^^ (and a couple others) and the reality that I was enabling her to stay not fully developed by continuing to try to get her to work on the M/R.

I realized the "one" was really me. The kids and her were, the "many".

That was a humbling evening.

The kids had needs, deserved a peaceful life, she needed to do what she needed to do, and I was fighting it, because I did love her, but there were my ego demons at play.

And as mentioned, I was wanting something better, which included peace and something better for the kids.

So I accepted my reality, her reality, the kids reality.

I got out of the way.

And started moving on.

I haven't thought about this in a while. I did try to tell of what I thought at the time, without the hindsight clarity of the present.