They can be emotionally stunted by abuse, verbal and physical, lack of love, admiration and affirmation in the home or by someone in authority. Maybe the parents were more loving towards a sibling or they may have been ignored completely...i.e., seen but not heard. Parents do the most damage, but it could have been something else in his life at an early age, generally it's when they are children.
Here's a thread that I created a few years ago that will help explain some of what you need to understand about the "stunted" situation.
Yes, they remember more than you think and some of it's stuffed down at the moment, but it does bubble up periodically. You have to have empathy for them because no one should want to be them. The emotional and spiritual pain that they are going through isn't easy and it's very, very painful for them. They don't and won't talk about it until they begin to wake up and you only get snippets because they are so ashamed of what they've done to family and friends.
Continue to have empathy for him, but do not get sucked back into his drama. He's directing his own drama play right now and he needs to do it solo, i.e., w/o you getting too involved.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
