Quite frankly, I don't know what's worse. Being the LBS of an MLCer or being the MLCer struggling through this mother load of an identity crisis!
Now Im wondering how and when do these MLCers get emotionally stunted? Is it a traumatic issue? Did they skip something vitally important so they have to re do this now?
As painful as it is, I guess if we come through to the other side of the abandoned spouse syndrome, I would chose the LBS. Why? Because through this insane mess, I've found myself. I got back to my true self and feel like me again. I know who I am. Yes Im still working on things, such as career path, and still trying to figure out what kind of relationship will work for me. But Im aware of it and walk with it one step at a time.
D12 told me that when OW grandchild was born, Exh sat there looking at the baby and was choking back tears. I also noticed XH was nervous around me last time we spoke in person, a week ago I think it was. Yet at the same time after I asked him yet ANOTHER COMPUTER PROGRAM QUESTION, he automatically was able to recall what "we" were doing 4 years ago and what " we" were installing into these computers, so technically it could work.
I kinda found that interesting. He can still recall things in the past here like it was yesterday.
My ego wants to think that when he saw that little baby girl, he was brought to tears remembering when his 12 year old was born, and when his 15 year old was born. Knowing him well enough, I think it did. He also hasn't spoken to D12 but one time in the last week. That's very odd for him to do since the first few months of insane BD and replay. He's swinging back into depressed mode.
REgardless of what ever is going through his mind, I know he has a long way to go. If he ever fully grasps what's going on within himself as well as the ripple effect it's had on his life, I have no idea. I know for me standing in front of a new born baby would make me go back to the birth of my two girls, and if at that moment in time my oldest daughter was refusing to talk to me because I severely screwed up, oh ya it would be time to face some stuff. But that's me.
I honestly feel sorry for XH, despite the fact that he can still infuriate me from time to time.
