KGirl con't

[KGirl]

I don't think you are either, labug, from what I know I hope that didn't come across as offensive. I think it was moreso that the materials were written in very basic language... it reminded me of when I worked at a mental health hospital and my conversations with patients were very basic, like "Today, if you don't hit anyone, you can go to canteen! What do you think about that? What can you do if you feel like hitting someone?" etc.

I think what I can do is repeat/think about some of those key phrases, until they start to become second nature. And, go out and make sure I stay busy and active with things that I value and add things to my life, whether that's getting necessary things taken care of, or talking with friends, or going to the gym, or cooking... things along those lines. I did ask my IC what else I can do to really accept this and grieve and he didn't really have much to say besides time and let my emotions happen. I would like more concrete instructions but they just may not exist. I did order a book that came today about rebuilding after a relationship ends that goes into more detail about the stages of grief and afterwards, so maybe that will help.

I am going to work this weekend on writing out an email. Who knows if it will be sent or not. I don't know that I'll have expectations but I do worry that what I write would likely burn some bridges if I sent it because it will probably be somewhat blame-y and angry... we'll see, I guess.

I am feeling better, and it's getting easier. I don't think about H or the situation as much as I did this past weekend. Time does really help. It was a little saddening when I got an email today from H's aunt about the annual Christmas gathering. I forwarded it to H and asked if he wanted to ask her to remove me from the email list, or if I needed to. He still hasn't told his extended family (and told me that he's not going to say anything about it at Thanksgiving unless they ask, because if they want to know they'll have to ask), which seems somewhat immature to me and not acknowledging/owning up to his actions but.. not my place, not my thing. What I do know is I don't want to con't to get emails about a Christmas gathering that I will not be attending.