Thank you, LiveNow. I can't imagine going through this with the distance you have had to deal with. I think both options succckkk, no matter how you slice it. I do feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to get in front of H. The thing is, for me, it doesn't serve me well at all. I also have the comparison of my xh. I was NC and out of state from him for years. He came through his tunnel, and apologized, acknowledging everything. He could only figure this out with us out of the way. I truly need to get out of H way. He can not come through this with me lingering over his shoulder. The short term satisfaction of seeing him, delays the long term healing. I do believe this.

Now, if I can just get out of my own way..... crazy

uR, as always, your wisdom is so valued, and appreciated. Thank you. I needed to read your words. Thank you for letting me know what you see in me. It matters. I do need to hit the reboot button. I'm not crying in a ball on the floor, like I was this past summer. I am strong for the most part. But, yeah....there are still hard days and anger and sadness and confusion...l'm no more or less immune to them than anyone here, whether newbie or vet.

You know, what with us being human and all. wink. (Still one of my favorite comments to H)

GB, I have a whole list of things not-to-drink-unless-pushed-by-unpleasant-experiences. We should exchange, like recipes. Thank you for the hug.... My fellow 3 C-section-sexy mama. Muah!!

As uR says, it's time to get to gettin'. I need a plan. A plan to keep me from hiding under a rock during the holidays. Because no. That's why. Plus, I hear that's not so fun. I'm pretty sure I can do better than that. I am better than that.

This life thing is a beautiful experience, pain and all. Yeah, I said it.

Now I gotta go do it. grin

Thank you, for being here whilst I change mental poopypants. As only real friends would be.