FINALLY SURFACING

[lovethehub]

Fart,

I haven't been on in a while because my workload at school is too heavy but I was dismayed to read of NW,and of children meeting her already. I know it is not my place to judge, I was just very surprised. I always felt that W was giving you many signals that she wanted to work things out but you weren't picking up on them or were still in the original "must detach" mode. As for the children wanting you to be 'in love' with her, it most likely isn't HER but the fact that it gives them some semblance of a family. Your children are still hurting from your split and it is soon to be having NW spend the night when they are there. Even if she is in another bedroom, children are much wiser than we think.

F, you are so right, along with many others before us. The WAS expect the future to be so much better for them was they have walked. How wrong most of them are. They view leaving us as being the only answer to their happiness, they don't work on themselves, and so much later they feel lost, unhappy and mindreading, wondering what happened.

This is very interesting to me and I hope it doesn't leave you feeling 'justified' with your decision. I am not saying you need to feel either way but this statement says "The WAS was wrong. They thought they could it find it better elsewhere and they can't". If you really understand a WAS, yes, they feel this way but typically only after suffering for a long time from the negligence of the LBS, who wouldn't respond to their needs if they were dancing naked in front of them.

I am glad you are happy but please go slow and know what you are getting into. As someone else pointed out, you are feeling what the WAS feels when they have an A, or anyone is in a new relationship. I also agree with your friend who pointed out that they didn't think it was fair that you finally made the changes your W longed for and then she didn't even get a chance to experience them.

LTH