A quick lunch update to my fellow DBers, I had a good chat with Laurie today. Apart from stating the obvious that my W has a lot of anger, we decided I should stay for the time being since my "detached" DBing is really still in its infancy. I have the clear sense from Laurie that separation is really a last resort and one has to feel comfortable that you've tried everything with no--or even worsening results.
We decided that over the next two-three weeks, I'll try a little bit of experimenting on various interactions with W and really try to monitor and track our sitch carefully on a daily basis. Such experiments could include remaining put when W starts R talks and seems to be getting argumentative. BUT, I have to be careful to know when to get out if MY emotions are getting the best of me. One thing Laurie said that was very helpful is that W is likely to continue reacting negatively to everything I do right now--so I should not let that discourage me. Instead I should be mindful of the degree of negativity and any other signs that could show movement in either direction. In a nutshell, I guess I'll be testing the level of detaching I believe I have reached and hopefully will approach my sitch with a more clinical attitude.
I remarked on my spiritual journey and conveyed to Laurie that in a strange way, I feel like I love my W in a way I never did before (even more)--much of it resulting from God and the entirely new outlook I am embracing in terms of how I view and treat other people in my life. Laurie saw nothing wrong with that and remarked how this approach has helped so many people.
