I would follow the advise of your sponsor. If your sponsor believes your wife responds best to positive interactions...listen to this. Your sponsor is in the best place to watch and observe behavior.
People on this forum on see one side of the coin and they are watching through a foggy lens with an agenda.
It rare that rare relationships heals when a spouse is as detached as people on this forum advocate. Yes, it is not healthy to pursue and pressure when a spouse is asking for space. But it is equally unhealthy to withdraw.
Relationships are a balance. And you need to find the balance that works for you.
Whether your relationship with your wife will be repaired...I don't know. But I do know relationships heal when people move toward each other not away from each other.
If your wife responds when you are nice to her...for goodness sakes be nice to her.
