I agree with you on the balance and that's why I was scared that I would regress based on if she's lying to me. I'm having such a hard time trying to figure out is it truly "good for the kids" or "try and keep things going in our R."
My IC counselor got me to admit a week or so ago that some of my criticism about the kids was my attempt to keep control of the situation. I think she actually saw the 2x4 come hit me in the head. I'm sure for them, that's when they get their most satisfaction in their jobs. I was telling her some stuff about what the W was doing, stopped for about thirty seconds and then started to tear up and said "I understand what I'm doing." Sandi2 and 25years among others have the uncanny ability to do that also
Since then, I have let things pass that would get me all stirred up when this first happened. Its pretty different than the parenting style we had together for the kids, but I wonder if that is another area that she felt was my way in the R and not hers.
At counseling this week, it let us start to talk about boundaries and communication between her and I for the kids w/o me just providing examples of things I didn't like as I did earlier in the S.
I think it's one of the 180's that I didn't identify initially. "Providing input/criticism/solutions/etc. into situations that I don't need to." This is the one that I need to work on the hardest, though. I constantly struggle with it.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
