So, instead of being outraged that my W lied to me, I realize that she did it for her own survival. That my breaking the trust with her is what lead her to start lying to me in order to secure the supply of love she wasn't getting from me. What else am I supposed to expect from her? Starvation? It's not like she didn't try to tell me before.
I think I disagree with this. There's a big difference in understanding what lead someone to lie (and/or cheat) and feeling like your spouse didn't have a choice. There's always a choice and morally, lying and cheating is never it.
People make mistakes, yes, but I think what you've laid out in your words is too much like enabling or it being "okay" to me.
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
