Raliced - Climbing Without a Rope

[Shakspr]

That can be and is often a guy thing. "Women and Children First" and all that chivalrous stuff. We can't have kids, and aren't typically as emotionally developed as the fairer sex. But we can get stuff done. I call it single-mindedness of purpose (probably borrowed that from somewhere.)

And men are VERY comfortable with exactly one tough problem to handle. If there happens to be a fair damsel breathing heavily at the finish line...bonus! Layers and subtlety and complexity are hard.



I find myself drawing parallel. Why do nations go to war...diplomacy fails because someone gets tired of all the yackety-yack. Usually a man. Then soldiers, sailors, airmen and their families pay the price, much the same way that we LBS pay for the WAS decision to go a little wacky.

So...I'm clearly not a vet. But if you have been independent and too detached from your H, it may be that he needed more validation. It is extremely unfortunate for everyone involved that he went somewhere else to get it.

I know it runs counter to what is often perceived as DB'g 'round here. But would it be a 180 for you to show vulnerability? To show him that you consider him valuable even if you can do without him - that things are better with him? Sure, now it's W2's and Thanksgiving projects (didn't he respond positively on those?) Do what works! You will also need him to be an excellent father when that same child is 16, not just 6. How you show him that is up to you.