3 months after BD, the roller coaster ride hurts

[devotee]

Exhausting beyond any measure. I wouldn't wish this torture on anyone in the world.
Here is another thing that I'm not sure about...
One of his reasons for falling out of love with me was that (in his mind) I showed no affection or interest in him. So over the past 5 months I've done a 180 and showered him with affection and interest. It seemed to help a lot. He mentioned it to me as well as to our therapist. That he really enjoys and respects the new me. Now after this sudden downturn, and his explanation at therapy yesterday that he thinks we need to separate... Should I do another 180 and stop the attention and affection? It came natural to me to give him the affection when I thought we were rebuilding our marriage. Now I feel I need to distance to detach and let go and stop getting my hopes up.
Everyone says do what's best for me, and I felt the showing affection was... And I worry pulling away will reenforce in him that I'm back to my old ways. I feel I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.