Well considering I had a day off all I achieved day time telly.
Dr phil, ugly and the stupid aka as bold and the beautiful. Was shaky due to virus, ate a proper steak for tea plus veg. Fed the lamb, dogs and talked to the tenant who came to do sheep today. Oh did throw washing at machine, lets hope the machine has played nice and done it correctly, it has issues sometimes.
This week, tho the goal of filling the wheelie bin with crap has sort of stalled but sort of not, in the fact I have given some junk away and binned a small quantity. The place is starting to look much better. Yard still looks tragic, but it too is a work in progress.
Been thinking this week only a little over a week till Christmas, so need to cook puddings etc. might actually need to shop soon too. Starts planning another trip to the city.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Well there's a turn up, all the talk about the ow being gorn, was just that talk. Seems they both were seen by my bestie and sons god mother. Ow committed a social sin that I was guiltily of and hung out to dry she didn't even bother to say hello to my slim great looking bestie.
Bestie said I quote.
Mis proportioned, very over weight bad skin nasty no hello attitude. In fact she gave bestie what could be called a death stare. The pair of them Wearing what looked like "their old work clothes" for a day out in the city. ow looked like she hasn't washed or bushed her hair ever. Gutter rat was a term used.
I however got a gift in my letter box as they past it I suspect this morning with ow in car he dropped off one of my smaller items of the no disputed list. Well about times he's had 2.5 months. That's pretty cheeky, I laughed on my way to drool over cow boys.
The hot one I've been looking at was there, and yes I even got to talk to him. I'm so awesome! No anxiety really, bestie was there to rescue me if I made a complete Pratt, and I didn't.
Been out for coffee this arvo then dinner at besties place. Tomorrow interstate friend and I will go visit her mums grave etc. dinner at local pub. I have officially run out of weekend, it only Saturday. It's stupid o'clock here, nearly 1am. Poor lambie sheldon is staaaarving.
Puts hand up can I have another weekend before Monday please?
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Ok, so my biggest detchment anxiety what ever you like to call it was tonight!
I walked into the pub (for dinner) past a gauntlet of h mates customer and ss25's friends. Tits up out and walking proud. Hot dress I used to wear about 9 years ago, my newest red shoes and bag. The waitresses wanted my bag loved my shoes want to know where to buy both.
I feel awesome.
This afternoon, went out with interstate friend to her mums grave. We called in at her parents old farm where she grew up as a child and her family settled as squatters. The owners wife was nice, I talked to her we hardly drew breath, small talk no anxiety. She mentioned cow boy I wanted help from and said if you need his help ring him and ask.
So you know what nothing ventured nothing gained I suppose. Will try one night after work.
The goal is now to meet one new male or female friend to join our dinner every Sunday. I need to be me, and a recluse was never it. I need friends, I used to be easy to talk with and make friends. I need to hone those db skills and validating habits.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Well, seems I have travelled quiet a ways, I've been helping one of my friends with work drama. In the past I would have encouraged her to confront the issue head on while angry.
Instead I loaned her the dance of anger book and advised her to read it and look towards a strategy and longer plan than just one event. To solve the longer term issues at work. To work towards a longer game with more lasting changes in a calmer more thought out way. The day before I had explained some of the events and things I had done on my db journey in such a way to get myself into the position I am now without comprising to many non negotiable things, like good behaviour, grace honour dignity.
Still been getting comments at work from heaps of people about the whole dress thing, before I was unsure what to say, now my comment is
"Naughty girls never tell! " with a evil mysterious glint. Then talk about heading out with mates also vague references to "visiting people" etc. I think living in a very small town it's important to remember that people will talk and make stuff up so the less actually said the better.
Also had a long term casual aquaintence say my large weight loss has inspired her to get serious. nice but I'm not sure she should look to me as a role model. Her life at least on the out side is far more successful, than mine. I'm normal ordinary and very much human.
Big weekend planned the tables booked for the Sunday night dinner at the local. Going to real town tomorrow. Not sure what else is n the plan, but it's forecast to be hot.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Bugga, I think she's going to bail. She hasn't found time to look at book or even open it.
She's now saying " I'm looking for another job! That's it it, it's not worth it" sigh I tryed. I seriously tryed and she would find the whole thing easy she's so Much further along her development than I.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
I better get my book back, I don't like lending stuff like that as often people don't want to admit they haven't read it so, they hang onto to it.
Maybe I shouldn't have offered help. Fixing its a bad habit to be in. I'm not sure why I even feel compelled to help except she has been really great with every piece of crap that's gone down in my life. I thought I was repaying something. I'm guessing not.
Ask holes. They don't want help they just want to continue to ask.
Last edited by Ggrass; 11/14/1411:31 AM.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
You wanted to help - absolutely nothing wrong with that. Id say its a good thing to try and help people.
It sounds like it might feel discouraging though
I found that I try to 'fix' which meant I didn't really listen. So for me that's what I think I need to do more of next time someone comes to me with a problem.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
ow looked like she hasn't washed or bushed her hair ever. Gutter rat was a term used. 
I'm so awesome! No anxiety really, bestie was there to rescue me if I made a complete Pratt, and I didn't. 