Barrybran - [Insert Original Thread Title Here]

[Barrybran]

I definitely have learned the art of patience. My wife is back home from another week of training and her attitude towards me is negative again. She effectively ignored me when the kids and I went to greet her, grumbled about a garden hose then refused to answer my questions when I tried to clarify what she was talking about, ignored me about something else and then undermined me by giving D4 a drink when I told her she had already had a special drink and had to eat some dinner before I'd give her more. My wife challenged me by suggesting she would leave if that's what I wanted. It took every fibre in my body to quickly calm myself down, tell my wife that is not what I wanted, that I felt ignored and disrespected by her and stated my desire to speak to one another more constructively.

That appeared to fall on deaf ears but I am getting better at stopping myself, calming myself down, thinking about the situation and expressing my feelings in a matter-of-fact way rather than reacting emotionally as I used to do. I have the kids to thank for that as I've practiced this ad nauseum these past two weeks. The kids were much better behaved this week and I was hoping for a peaceful weekend with my wife but she doesn't appear to be interested in working together just yet.

A fear has crept in that things may become very difficult soon. I really don't know where my wife's head is at but things have gone downhill very quickly in two weeks. Two weeks ago, I was accompanying her to look at houses in her new town and now, she doesn't want a bar of me. I'm here in the trenches, doing the hard yards with kids and work and I am having difficulty trusting her to the point that I won't feel comfortable following her to the new town unless I can support myself; a move that may not happen for a couple of years if I can't find work. My wife has accused me of controlling situations before and if she starts to miss the kids, I expect this accusation to come up again. Ultimately, I won't move if I can't support myself and the kids. It just can't happen.

On the bright side, I'm at work for most of tomorrow and my wife leaves early on Sunday. I do want this to work but the woman who is sharing my house right now is not the woman I married. I'll be glad when my wife appears again.