Now you'll know why I said you are lucky that your W left. Imagine your sitch and your W's current attitdude towards M, but every day she wants to know when YOU are going to leave in order for her to move on with her life. She lied about OM and on top of that, she gives you a budget where she keeps all the money!!!!!!
I have not had a R talk in almost three months and also told her to offer me a proposal on how she thinks a divorce will work on paper and I'll look at it in good faith. I added that, until then, nothing is going to happen. So rather than go forward, she keeps asking me when I'm ready to free her and complaining that I am trapping her. The issue is whether or not to call her bluff and move--but that would accelerate the legal process of my timetable--not hers--and (trust me on this), enable her to say I wanted the sep.
I have solicited advice on whether to leave from day one. DB Coach Laurie was of the opinion that I should stay, and I have not really detached until the last month. Eddy's suggestion on a split arrangement is a good one (the one major difference between my sitch and Eddy's is that my W's R with OM is unlikely to go anywhere--I know Eddy has been unable to shed more light on his story, but we do have some differences). I could float Eddy's idea with W, but suspect she'll reject it out of hand. Maybe not. Alternatively, a while back I suggested an in-house agreement whereby we explicitly define responsibilities for $$$, household responsibilities, and care for the children.
All of these are issues that I will explore with Laurie this week. I also suspect the agreement drafted by her attorney will give us a better baseling for further discussion. We'll see. That's enough for me until tonight. Thanks.
