3 months after BD, the roller coaster ride hurts

[devotee]

I thought we were making progress. 8 weeks of MC and becoming closer than ever. We had a few setbacks but worked through them. This is like a second BD and hit me in the gut. I know I'm not supposed to have expectations but when most the signs are leaning towards progress and the beautiful intimacy and times we've been sharing these past few months went *poof*.
I'm trying to just give up. It's not in my nature and my gut still has hope or why would we have worked so hard and made all this progress?
I feel stupid even talking to my friends... It's difficult since I think they'll think I'm crying wolf since they helped me so much through the initial bomb drop. They kind of slipped away from me during these past few months because they thought me H and I we're working things out. Now this...

And just two nights ago my husband and I were both researching Sue Johnsons "Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love" to read together by recommendation of our therapist. Why would he agree to that if he was just going to therapy to help us divorce??? I am so confused.

We have to live together through the condo sale. I see that being very drawn out. I wish we had the money for him to get his own apartment right now. I can't handle being around him all day and night and trying to force myself out of love with him.