Wife dropped the bomb Part 2

[HopeTex]

Hi guys, sorry haven't posted in a while. I am about 6 weeks past the move out, and am slowly but steadily recovering from that trauma. I am still doing the right things: counseling, exercise, talking often with guys who have been thru D. I can't say I feel better each day that goes by, as there are ups and downs, but if am definitely feeling better week by week.

Don't really see the W too often, I try to minimize our time together. I am still in the Anger stage but think I am moving thru it productively. I saw W today and it didn't set me off like it has in the past.

Still really enjoying my time with the kids, our relationship is so much deeper now. I think they are doing as well as can be expected.

Stopped wearing the wedding ring about a week ago. Just didn't feel right wearing it anymore. Not wearing it hasn't felt as tough as I thought it would. Just realized that when I saw W earlier today I forgot to even check whether she has taken hers off. I bet she has, since she has seen me without mine. Probably a good sign that i didn't even remember to check.

W met with her lawyer yesterday, and they are supposed to send us a draft decree sometime soon. Hopefully it will be reasonable and we can negotiate fairly quickly and painlessly.

Kind of had a date yesterday. She didn't know it was a date. Woman I had met thru work circles recently, so it was a business networking lunch, but I do find her attractive so it was an interesting experience for me. I know I need to stay away from serious relationships for quite a while, but it was nice being with a woman who seemed to be interested in me. Nice ego boost, and a reminder that lie will go on and will be good.

Not sure whether there will ever be a chance of reconciliation with W. Most likely not, but who knows. I think it would be way down the road, like a few years from now, if it ever happens. I can foresee me getting on with life and feeling much better being away from her and in a healthier relationship with someone else, and eventually feeling like the D was a good thing for me. Not that D is good, but my mindset is that I didn't choose the D, but if it is forced on me I will make the most of it, make it the best thing that ever happened to me by using the pain to prompt me to improve myself, my life, my parenting, etc. it is like people who get a terminal disease or lose a limb, sometime it ends up being the best thing that ever happened to them, because they make it so. I know that I am already stronger and wiser from the experience. God doesn't waste pain.

My counselor says I am doing very well and he thinks I will heal at a good pace. He says we are going to discuss setting a date off in the future, where I commit to not being in a serious relationship until that date. Then we will spend time making a list of the attributes and values I will be looking for in a woman. Should be an interesting exercise. I guess it is intended to prevent the quick rebound relationship where you just end up marrying the same person over again. I am a bit paranoid that I am attracted to troubled women, so I would like to correct that if possible.

My current job situation is still a bit unstable, but it am close to moving to a new employer. Hopefully it will be a good move.