Hi LouR. I feel your pain. I really do. I know what it feels like to have everyone tell you that it will get better and you just can't seem to believe it. It does not seem possible. It seem like the only way for it to get better is to rewind and put things back the way they are supposed to be.
Well, I can tell you, for sure, this is going to be tough. It will be a long road. You will have really bad days (real optimistic, huh?!), but with that, it WILL get better. The thing is, you just have to keep moving.
Every time you have a moment of crying, screaming, anger, frustration, sadness... all that mess... that is you working through it. You are getting it out. And it is better to get it out than to keep it in. Journaling... that is great. I did a ton for the first... many, many months. Then I came here. I let it all out. It has helped tremendously. But, there has to be more. You have to live too.
I am so glad to hear that you are taking step to establish you independence. That is great.
I know there is a lot more in there that you want to share and need to get out. Go ahead and do it. We all understand. We have been through it and/or are going through it. This is a safe place. I am glad you came.
Keep reading, keep getting it out. Keep taking steps for you and your kids. You can do this. I can tell you are strong by the choices you have made so far. I understand how hurtful it is to be rejected. I totally get it. You will see that it really isn't about you at all.
