3 months after BD, the roller coaster ride hurts

[devotee]

Terrible terrible day. Had a MC session. Started with each of us talking to our therapist seperately for a half hour. Then we had a 50 minute session all together.
In my session I talked about the huge setback this week from H withdrawing and drinking. My therapist asked me to speak up to H about where we were heading.
In our joint session H made clear he wasn't backstepping and that his heart was still gone and nothing had changed. That therapy was our resource to make separating easier. That he didn't see us repairing our relationship and that he still expected us to only be friends and he wants to be alone.
I kind of went off the deep end. I felt lied to, manipulated, false hopes, stupid and angry. He wanted this therapy to separate, not rebuild.
It was a very bad session, me crying, speaking in anger. He said he wanted us to continue to be friends, I said we would just be civil roommates till we could sell the place. He seemed shocked and said he felt guilty. He thought I knew that's all he expected from therapy and that I was pretending to think otherwise. He said what next? I said go home and start packing. We would speak to each other civily but stop with the leading me on. No more affection, sex, rides to work, dates, lunches, movies. I felt I was speaking rash but I need to distance myself. I feel I need to hate him to fall out of love with him. This prolonged drawing out the pain is killing me. I finally felt like maybe a separation/divorce would be best since loving someone that doesn't love you is futile and torture. He wanted to drive me home after the session but I refused. I said I needed to get used to do things on my own.

The therapist asked if we'd like to continue MC. I said I wasn't sure and that it seemed hopeless since it was one sided (me wanting to try and him already being checked out). I will continue my IC for sure.

It was funny because H mentioned that as soon as I distanced myself and moved on from him he'd probably want me back and then I wouldn't want him. I wanted to say: exactly... that at that point I wouldn't want him back but I held it in. So mad right now. More anger then sadness. I'm still injured so I don't see myself packing today. Took some Xanax and think I'll take a few hours of well deserved pity time and catching up on TV shows. How perfect that this breakup will be happening during the holidays.

Am I right to just cut him off? Should I give it time and see if he changes his mind again? Do I apologize for my rash words and decisions at therapy? Am I sabotaging all the progress I've made by allowing this past week to end us? He wants it to continue as it was but more as friends as we sell the condo... This time with no sex or affection. I don't know if I can handle that. I'm kind of black and white.