W called and said my message was cryptic and that she didn't want to spend $5,000 if I was going to spring a surprise on her.
Me: "What surprise?" W: That you want the kids to live with you or you don't like the monetary arrangements. You said you'd negotiate in good faith. Me: I haven't even thought about this. I said you do what you have to do and I'll look at it in good faith. That could mean I disagree. Right now, I don't want a separation or divorce. W: Well then why I am I wasting my time going to an attorney. This is why we have to talk about what we're going to do? But you won't talk. Me: I told you how I feel, but you feel differently, so you do whatever you have to do and spend whatever you need. W: I thought you're concerned about wasting money. Me: That's not an issue on this. Look, I have to go now. You do what you have to do.
Not too bad, but 15 minutes later my FIL calls.
He says, I don't want you to go through ten years of history, but I care about W's health and what it means for the kids and you have to do something NOW to fix this. Do you want her to get ill?
Unfortunately, my thought-stopping didn't kick in here and I talked to him in a heated way that I never did before (I have a very good R with him).
I said, "Wait a minute. I'm really tired of having W's issues all laid at my feet. I'm not perfect, but she has issues that she needs to deal with. I've been trying for a year to make things work and trust me, you REALLY don't want to hear all the things that have gone on. I'm tired of being told what I should do and I'm not going to talk to this family any more. I'm not going to do it!!!"
And then I hung up.
A minute later, I called him back and got VM and left a message apologizing saying he caught me off guard. But I reiterated that there's a lot of things he will not want to hear if he gets involved--like my W saying that she wants a D because she doesn't want to give her kids the same miserable impression of M that her parents gave her. That would pierce my FIL like a jaded dagger and W's siblings are peeved that she said it. Anyway, the adrenaline is up but PMA is good. I will definitely pray on the commute home.
