I wrote a post to you earlier and it didn't make it!
I just wanted to say that despite the vitriol, you do a bang up job--no matter where your training in Cursing 101 took place (mine was the seafaring arm of our military). It takes a person with tough resolve to commit to not taking what she says personally.
It's time for another award... and this one goes to you.
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Wow. How incredibly great to check this board at the end of a day and see all this support! Just tremendous, and boy do I FEEL tall!!!
It was generally a good day. W tried to push a few buttons. I took my three kids and two of their friends to a hockey game and W questioned my ability to watch all these kids. "You know these aren't just our kids and you have to be careful." Thanks. The other part that makes DBing so hard is our ongoing disagreements on how to discipline the kids--if we didn't agree before, we sure as heck aren't agreeing now. Today's dispute was over candy. In fact, my kids are always fighting over it--who gets how much, who shares, when to eat? Etc. My answer is to just get rid of it, period--until they figure out how not to fight. W would rather lecture why it is wrong to fight over candy. Today was lecture number 750 with no results, so in the middle of her latest lecture, I told W we had to leave for the game and we should just get the stuff out of the house because that's the only thing we haven't tried (getting solution-based,eh?). W goes, "Are we supposed to stop sending kids to parties?" My reply, "No. But they shouldn't be allowed to bring it home." We then left. As usual, the game was fun, the kids had a great time, and there were no problems.
Eddy-you scare me when you talk about the similarities of our W's. I do agree on the OM--it's an emotional addiction and A-hole is feeding it. In addition to the attorney meeting, W also is feeling pressure from the end of the campaign. It ends the excuses for meeting OM AND just as importantly returns her to the "What do I do next?" part of her life. She has totally given up her job search, but previously hoped of getting a job with OM's dad's biz. Can you believe it? Anyway, W's personality is to start worrying about next week now--and that has to contribute to the edge.
Earlier today, I was really angry when reflecting back on church. Who in this world criticizes how another person prays? But I guess that's the nature of the beast--and this is another thing I should not take personally. I've got a busy work week ahead that will keep me occupied. It will be intersting to see how W acts after Tuesday's election. For now, I've gone one month without a fight--at least from my side, and only one in the last six weeks. I'm getting there. Thanks again guys and have a great week.
Sorry about all of the thong talk over on my thread.
Quote: We are going to have to hook up for that Yankee game come summer with Christine. I bet she is a hottie.
Great idea, Eddy. I used to go to virtually every Yankees home game (but I would root for the Red Sox when they were in town. That didn't go over well in Yankee Stadium!) As for being a hottie, I guess you boys will have to decide.
I think that you are absolutely justified in being angry with W for criticizing your prayers. That should be your private time. It's Ok to vent here on the board.
I believe that, since you haven't had an argument in a month, W is trying her darnest to engage you. Karen, said it. Hold steady. I believe that was what finally did it for me (besides the thong, of course). H never broke my spirit. I never gave in to the negativity. It was a battle of wills and I won. He didn't break me...I was steady!
Sorry about the thong comment. I just couldn't resist! BTW, even though I am 5'8", I would take a man with a heart of gold like yours over someone 6'3" and a killer bod any day. Besides the men with killer bods spend too much time keeping that bod and I need lots of attention!
Christine
I am the master of creating positive energy and love in my own environment. I am the source of love in my life. It starts with me! This energy radiates from me! It gives me strength, courage, wisdom and grace!
Looks like you are still at a good place with yourself and maybe the W sees this and wants to be part of the family.
We can only hope.
I know a lot of the comments they make are reflex and I believe a lot of the things they say, are to see if we will respond and then they can say, "There he is, same old H." So not responding or changing your response, changes the dynamic whether they acknowledge it or not. At this is what I want to be consistent on.
I know the thread has refocused on W's demonic attack, but I've got to jump back in here about your potential causual date.
First, I honestly and wholeheartedly agree there is nothing wrong with a casual coffee, lunch, dinner, etc. with opposite sex - IF you have something in common other than a singles dating site!
Not only could this be the final straw W is looking for - God knows how hard she is looking for them - but it is also misleading for your date. Come-on, Merrick, justify it however you want, but you met her on a SINGLES DATING site, right?
There are just too many other great things that you can do - and great people to spend time with - to boost your PMA. Casually meeting people while playing pool, or at a hockey game, etc. is part of those activities. Nothing wrong with that - but like you've already said, you wouldn't follow-up with anything serious.
Regarding Ws attack. I think you are seeing the difference between a personal relationship with Christ - which you are developing; and a relationship with religion which is done out of duty. Your W has no support outside the structure of religion, and Satan loves to pick at the rules and get people's focus on them. Then people are focused - like your W - on the rule, instead of the intended result, a closer relationship with Christ. Not that praying with your eyes open is a rule - just that that is what Satan has your W focused on. My W and I had a major break through last night regarding the Holy Spirit triumphing over the demons tormenting W. I'll find time to share them on my thread in the next day or so.
Our Sunday School class had a discussion about Job, and how maybe a reason God allowed Job to go through so many trials and losses is so we would have an example of triumph over turmoil to guide us through our own unbearable situations.
You need to stay focused on what you want your family R to be like. W can get on board or jump ship, but you need to steer that ship in the right direction.
You are my conscience talking. Rather than go for coffee, I gave the "date" my cell phone number and she called tonight. We chatted for about an hour until W came in--although I didn't have the gumption to continue the call while W was there.
I told the date everything I was doing in my M, why I had checked out the date site, and that I was committed to my W and kids, but needed some outlet to see what the world was like beyond my four walls if they come down. She started right out saying that people can become friends without sex being involved and that's what she was looking for. She was divorced and seemed as nervous as me--but found no reason to hang up. I confess that I felt no excitement during the call--but it was just nice to know for myself that that I could do this if I have to. Better yet, she's got a 22 year-old daughter! Just kidding.
I am the master of creating positive energy and love in my own environment. I am the source of love in my life. It starts with me! This energy radiates from me! It gives me strength, courage, wisdom and grace!
No specials. After a good night's sleep, I sent the woman a warm note explaining that I just wasn't ready to do this yet--at least in a forced manner. But knowing that I can get a date with someone reasonably close to my ideal (on paper anyway) without much effort or going to a bar was a good confidence booster. Back to work!
Back to work!