I used to think if I had a negative thought, I was that negative thing. If I had had the thought when BFF called, "Oh so you abandon me and now I'm supposed to comfort you!" Bam, I would have been right in Toxic Thought World. My IC has helped me see that we all have those initial negative responses to some things, it's how we handle that thought that makes a difference and so, as in meditation, "hmmm, there's a thought, let it go." It only has importance if we let it. We are not the thought.
About your anger, I'm sure you do still have anger at your H but do you think you might have been letting a little anger out at your BFF. You didn't feel OK being angry at her so you jumped on the other person who abandoned you.
Just a thought.
You're a trooper.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
