Inside my chrysalis 7

[Zues126]

Thanks for sharing SS. What a profound moment. I think a lot of people do that. I sure do. I decide how I want to feel about a situation, my 'platform' if you will, then deny/surpress feelings that don't fit in. Problem is that it's not as easy as just deciding to be detached because 'why let WAS continue to control out emotional well being?'...the true feelings remain underneath.

I'm still new to the a knowledging feelings game as I've used that model for too long. It's tough to find a balance between denying them and being at their mercy. Good for you for meditating. It may not directly change how you feel about certain things, but it can reduce their power over you I think. And maybe if you can have moments of clarity from beyond the cloud of those feelings you can see things from different perspectives through which your true feelings change naturally.

There's a famous story about a passenger on a bus. Another passenger got on with three kids. The kids were running around and creating quite a disturbance but the father did nothing. Some of the other passengers started glaring at the dad, and looking at Each other in disbelief that he didn't seem to care. Finally the narrator of the story decided to confront the dad and let him know his kids were actin up. He was a little righteous and impatient when he confronted the dad. The dad said 'I'm really sorry. I didn't realize the boys were being so disruptive. Today's been a hard day. We just left from their mothers funeral and I guess none of us really know how to deal with it...'

I still well up reading that. And the point is that the author clearly felt quite a bit differently than he did before that exchange.

Why? What changed? Just his perspective. He suddenly saw beyond his own point of view and began to truly empathize with the pain of another. Suddenly it didn't seem so inappropriate.

That's a good reminder for me right now. It's easy to get stuck in my own view and my own pain. Even easier to 'regain control' and use that pain in a defiant attitude telling ourselves we are better off without our WAS, how dare they treat us the way they are, etc. Maybe there is some truth to that. But I think that truth can only be the right truth if it comes AFTER truly coming to terms wih your own feelings, understanding and having compassion for WAS, and only then making the tough decision that while you still love them and regret what is necessary, a new R isn't healthy. As opposed to making that decision from a place of pain.

Again, very good topic for me tonight, thanks for sharing.