Once again, uR, you make me think but you help me focus so I'm not a run away train of over analysis and over thinking.
Thank you!
I was talking to my BFF today (I sucked it up. I love her more than I could ever be upset with her. It's nice to be needed and able to give her support. I'm also learning that I need to lean more on myself and not expect everyone else to give me their wisdom nuggets so I can figure myself out) and after talking and empathizing with her situation, she asked how it was doing and much to my surprise I exploded verbally with so much negativity and bitterness.
I was SHOCKED.
What?
I thought I was really making progress and coming to acceptance about all this but my goodness...
I know I'm super comfortable with my BFF but I was aghast and my spewing at the simple question "how's it going".
20 minutes later I stopped and apologized for being so negative because I felt like it wasn't a true reflection of my feelings.
Then she said, "yes it is, honey. It absolutely is."
And she's right.
WHA??
More digging to do. I'm not being hard on myself because I realize this stuff takes major time so I'm being gentle with myself and loving towards the process. But holy moly.
On a separate note (I always have separate notes, huh?), yoga tonight was UBER interesting.
My teacher talked about the difference between feelings and emotions. She said that emotions are sticky and take our feelings and attach to us like barnacles on a ship. After some time, you begin to feel heavy and weighed down from all these sticky emotions. Instead, learning through yoga and meditation how to allow the feelings to ash through you, observe and pay homage but don't let it turn into an emotion and stick to you so you have to carry it around with you until you process that particular barnacle.
Amazing, right??
Anyway... I need to scrape off some of (all of?) these barnacles. They're weighing me down, man.
