The finally she said that she wanted a divorce and that she has a petition of Dissolution of Marriage. I cried so hard because she seemed so convinced on finishing our marriage. According to her that was the only way out because "there is too much damage done". I told her that my family knows that what happened at the beach wasn't as bad as they thought, and that they may still upset because of what happened at the wedding rehearsal night and not because of the incident at the beach. But she said that there is no more hope. She said "I love you, but I love me more." From that day on, hell fell upon our lives.
First of all, remember that "actions" and words are not the same thing.
Second understand that when she picks a fight with you, she is picking a fight with you. You have the option to get sucked into a fight or to not get sucked into a fight with her. Yes she knows all your hot buttons, but now you know how she is trying to manipulate you into fighting with her.
You need to learn how to let her say hurtful things and do hurtful things and let that bounce off you. When you accomplish that, you will have done a heck of a 180 and shown her you are a different man with greater skills who will not be playing the same old game. That should force her to treat you differently.
Again, she may have divorce papers read or she may not, let her actions speak not her words.
Read DB and don't let her get to you. Often times a spouse will know all your hot buttons and will do something so you lash out. Then they can play victim, which sounds like what your W was doing.
Good luck.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
