Well, she gave you some powerful info. Hard to hear, but, important.
You know, S, he had some stuff that he did, you had stuff that you did. Most of them played off each other. You did the best you knew how at the time...so did he.
Whatever happened, did. Cant undo it. It is important to forgive yourself for your part. Your intent wasnt to cause damage to the marriage.
I was really depressed towards the end of my marriage. How I allowed him to make me feel played a part in it. It played a part in his unhappiness.
Do I think that gave him the right to do what he did? No. But that's just my opinion. He obviously had a different one, which is his right. Mine isnt more important than his.
I get what you are saying about your friend. People are just people. Im sure she isnt consciously ignoring your issues. There could be many reasons why she isnt there for you.
If you feel that strongly about it, maybe you can talk to her. It sounds like she is dealing with some stuff, too.
While a friendship should be reciprical, it shouldnt have score keeping as a factor.
You should be the kind of friend you want to be regardless of whether there is any payback. The truth is people do what they do and you cant control it. Their choice to make. Your choice in whether you want to remain in that friendship.
