Well, after the last 15 minutes, I'm ready for a date now!
W came home as I was writing at 12:15. Although I expected her be in around 3 while I was asleep, Satan must have taken over her body because she was in rare form. I may miss a few of her words hereafter, but this is literally the gist of what she said for 15 minutes over and over again.
"What time do you have f**ing have to get up in the morning. Where are F**ing sleeping. Can you sleep down here so you don't wake me up in the morning?"
I replied that I don't like sleeping in the basement because the bed is uncomfortable and I don't want the kids seeing me when they get up.
Her answer It's all about f**ing Merrick. What? Did your f**ing counselor say not to do anything that makes you uncomfortable? Why do you want to sleep in our f**ing bed? Are you really comfortable; I'm f***king not. Oh, but you're a good f**cking husand and father, so you won't go! You'll stay until we all fu**ing die. Oh. That's right. It's my fu*king problem; like it has been for the last ten years? Right? What are you watching? The f**cking Islanders! I'm Merrick so I'll sit on my computer with divorce.com and my f***cking BB friends and watch the f**king Islanders. (NOTE TO MERRICK: I never mentioned this BB to her--but some relative must have--another reason to keep my mouth shut)
This was interspersed with her making fun of the way I talk and being about as obnoxious as I have ever seen her in my entire life. I can't wait until she takes communion on Sunday!
I have indeed detached because all I could do was watch this in amusement and had to keep myself from smirking. I did say politely that I would not listen to her swearing diatribe and at one point just laughed when she mocked me. If anything, I was guilty of insensitivity, but I kept releaxed and upbeat the entire time. There was never an angry word, motion, or even body language.
So, getting back to my earlier post. Right now I really can't work on the M apart from improving myself because nights like tonight most usually occur when she has been with OM--and so long as she maintians that addiction, the best I can do is take care of myself and show her the new me by not getting angry as I showed tonight. If she ever opens up to me in a meaningful way...I'll be there. And as for the date, I'll NEVER put my own immediate gratification (improper that is) over the needs of my family and kids. I truly belive that. Have a great weekend, everyone.
Thanks again to everyone who dropped by. I'll try to visit your threads this weekend. Incredibly, the PMA is still high and I'll thank God and y'all for that.
