Married young, W had affair w/ coworker

[UpperCu]

I guess I'm in a new type of holding pattern waiting for the BGPs to do their work. I know that takes time, but does anyone have advice on how much pressure I should put on her to act on what she is telling me she wants (to be financially independent, unmarried, move out, get a cheaper car)? She is basically living on my dime and her cc right now. Or should I just back off and watch what happens for now?