Need Help before I blow a fuse.

[20&lost]

MrBond, after a year my W says she still doesn't know what she wants, that D is still on the table. We still are together, she still wears her rings, we still do family things with our kids , sleep in the same bed and she still is my CFO. Really no physical contact in almost a year. I know for sure she has a OM that is either a strong EA but not 100% sure of it being a PA. I just lost my cool the other day. I just discovered Robx's "Merry-Go_Round" and wish I had used that the other day. I knows she constantly lies and at least sees the OM for during the day a few times a week. Really do not know where to go from here but I know I can't stay on this ride forever. I believe my D17 is putting some things together about my W. She started having panic attacks a month or so ago and I really believe part of what is causing them is what is going on between my W and I. My W is also going through a major MLC. It is like she wants to be my D. Should I use the "Merry-Go-ROund" approach in the next few weeks? MY DB coach says not to get a PI but the L I consulted with said to get one. I love my W and want to do what will give our M the best chance it has to make it, however I still need to GAL. I am confused on what to do next. Any suggestions would be grateful.