W has been saying pretty much this same thing for six months...she just never wrote it down. The key point within this e-mail is that raising the kids is her life; thus, in her mind, she can't leave--it has to be me. To be more precise, other than being a "good mother," she has now defined her marraige and her chosen life as mostly a failure. For her to leave would be akin to a total, complete, and absolute failure. In other words, the only definition of self that remains for her is being a mother. Those kids are truly her life right now and she can't let go.
I don't want to be mean, but these are pathologies that I can't control and which contributed to our mess in the first place. My deepest regret is not being more understanding of what was going on earlier, taking things personally and selfishly, and exacerbating the problem by not digging deeper to show her more love in a way that she would understand (5LL). But it is what is and I have learned from my mistakes.
