It doesn't feel like a fairytale anymore...

[123Gwen]

And at one time, my ex husband was a happily married man in love with his wife and his children! As I look back at how things went from great to horrible, it all fell within the MLC pre requesites! Huge life changes, death in the family, near death experience with him, dissatisfaction with his job, job stress, then home life stress due to me working and no time for us.

This was truly our story as well - Exactly to a T except I was not working outside the home but we live in a large city so literally going opposite directions and great distances for commute and school!

However what has really helped me accept this all, is that all along it was clear that the coping skills for XH for all this change were not in tact! I've spent alot of time very angry at him for not being who I needed him to be or wanted him to be.

I am so new to this sitch & DB but I am trying to let go of expectations. It feels like I am giving up hope but I am SLOWLY starting to understand the difference.


When I finally realized that he literally doesn't have the capability by either choice, or not being shown how to during formative years (step dad a cheater and abuser, main role model) I honestly can't be too angry.

My H does not seem to possess that ability either. I was naive or foolish to think that since he lived with me longer than FOO he would have "learned" those skills. Pretty arrogant on my part. I also thought he valued honesty so much I could always count on that. Again not realistic.

Horribly hurt and disappointed because I swore he'd never do that, but he did. And it all started with the ILYBNILWY statements like everyone else!

I am learning so much from you all. I also must admit I am sad about humanity after hearing all these stories. In a way to stay neutral I told D - "People are complicated even when they love you."

Thank you for sharing. I am trying to GAL but I am not really there yet to make any big steps except losing weight and IC and no contact. Still shell shocked but all your stories are helpful as I try to read the books and sort through my emotions.