Last night, I had an "inquiry phase" meeting on RCIA that went about two hours. When I got home W was asleep. This morning, when she woke up she asked about it and I told her a little bit about what was discussed (no mention of our sitch).
Then five minutes before I was to leave to get my train, she comes to me and went into the I'm killing her routine, saying:
"I know you don't care, but I can't go on like this any longer. I've done everything I can. How can it be good for the kids for you to allow my destruction? Is that what you want? Why don't you just face the inevitable"
I just looked at her. She then said she was going forward with meeeting and retaining her attorney next week ($5,000). D8 came into the room and I gave her a sunny welcome, while W pressed for my opinion. I think she was expecting a hostile reaction from me, but I just said, "I care about you more than you can imagine--but you do what you have to do." She pursued me out the door, but I greeted a neighbor walking down the street and did not turn back to the house."
My initial reaction to her retaining an attorney is to protect my cash and move monies out of our joint account. But then I thought about marital love and decided that for now, this is just money. The most she can take from my "share" in liquid cash and stocks is about $40,000. If she wants to go that route, she can keep it. If the M blows up, I have ways of recovering that.
Anyway, I think my PMA took a hit this morning, but I don't feel any anger and feel very ready to move on forward whatever she does. This was not a severe test of my new detachment, but a test nonetheless--and I think I passed.
