Barrybran - [Insert Original Thread Title Here]

[Barrybran]

I swear I have the patience of a saint lately. I've made a conscious effort to not yell at the kids. I have a short fuse and without my wife around, I understand just how important this time is for bonding with the kids. It hasn't been perfect; I've lost my cool a few times but by and large, I've done really well. Something that bothers me is that when one doesn't listen, they all don't listen, which includes my dog who is about 14 weeks old and going through the puppy version of the toddler stage. How I'm doing this on my own is beyond me but it's taking a lot of patience and breathing.

My wife is also testing me. Earlier today, I sent her an image of the wedding invitation my brother and his fiance sent us. She told me she shouldn't have been included on the invitation since we're separated. I validated what she said and reminded her that while she feels this way, she is still seen as family by my family and was invited accordingly. She told me she thought it was a guilt trip, which I validated but didn't agree with ("sorry that you feel that way). She continued on but there was nothing worth responding to so I didn't.

Later in the night, she called to speak to the kids and asked about money. We had discussed previously that I would save as much as I could and we would pay the remainder from her first pay. My work hours have been decimated this week as my babysitter broke her foot and was unable to look after the kids one day. It was too late in the pay week to call a swap so I offloaded the shift completely. My kids come first. I also accidentally used my savings account instead of my credit card account which didn't help but wasn't 'end of the world' stuff. My wife appeared to have forgotten this conversation and started getting huffy about it. I realised that she wasn't going to accept responsibility and decided to end the call. I am still her husband but her attitude needs a severe adjustment right now and if she is not going to listen, ask about events that have a bearing on her and our family, or treat me with respect, I am just going to leave her to her devices and figure out solutions behind the scenes, without her, so that when it comes time to act, I've got it all figured out. Granted, I won't have the money in time for her to pay the bond but she knew that, discussed alternatives and appears to have forgotten what she's said. I can't help her under these circumstances; unfortunately, I must leave it up to her to solve. I'm always here to help though if she decides to act as a teammate.