Thanks KAW.

I'm busy at work, but W just called me to talk about two things and I wanted to get this down while it's fresh in my mind.

First, my mother sent her some articles on being a stay-at-home mom and other kid matters with a note that said, "All is well here and hope the same with you." W, who dislikes my mother since Day One, wanted to know if there was some underlying message and what my mother knew about our sitch.

DIGRESSION: My Dad is not too far behind my mother in W's eyes. To give an example, my parents gave my kids a Karaoke machine last Christmas. When my kids opened the giftwrap in front of my parents, W goes, "What are they going to do with that? We can take it back."

RETURN TO POST: Now, don't take this the wrong way, but my mother is the last person I would talk to about my sitch; we just don't have that kind of R (I could start a new and long thread on "home of origin" issues). Right or wrong, I truly believe my mother has little to offer me on this.

In any event, I told W I had no idea since I talked primarily with my father and could not say what he told my mom.

W: Well, what have you told you father?
Me: I've talked about where my M was?
W: Everything? Where we stand?
Me: I told him we may not make it.
W: Did you tell him why? How I feel? How we haven't (every reason why M is wrong)?
Me: Sure, but I talk to him for support and have no idea what he tells my mother. What's issue number 2?

Control issues here???

Next, she went into her upcoming birthday and how she just wished the day would go away, but she had to do something for the kids. She looked at some Broadway shows and wanted to know if I could get discount tix through work for her and the kids since they'll be off from school of ner B-day. (I'm not included in the plans).

She then said if it were up to her, she'd do nothing because she is "dreading" the day. She wants to escape it.

W: "I hate my birthday and I hate my life. I'm sick of pretending...it's all one big lie. I want to do something on my birthday that takes the least amount of effort and time to pretend. I just want to get it over with. Just something where I can enjoy myself just a little bit without expending a wholelot of energy. This is my life; one big lie. I can't be like you and shut it all out."

I tried validating with lots of uh-huhs. I no longer say I understand because she fights over that as well, but simply said, "Well let me try to get the information you need and we'll go from there." At this, she hung up.

Fortunately, I had some energizong issues at work today and the PMA is still high.

Merrick


Keep on fighting the good fight.

Merrick