Are you asking what I think is likely to happen if you call your wife’s bluff and file for divorce?
The honest answer is, “I don’t know.”
But I caution people never to engage in an action with the hope of getting a response from someone else. It is manipulative and this strategy is almost 100% guaranteed to backfire. The damage done by this kind of behavior causes a repairable relationship to be completely destroyed.
One of the reasons marriages crumble so quickly when the word Divorce is spoken is because a bond of trust, which is the foundation of marriage, is broken once that word is used. You have removed your spouse from a promised lifetime partnership, which was unconditional, and suddenly set perimeters on their value in your life.
This has an immediately physiological effect on your spouse and takes away their ability to feel secure. Once a person’s security is threatened it changes them.
I want you to carefully consider any action you take against your wife.
Before you do anything I strongly urge you to analyze how the actions she took against you made you feel. Yes, you felt hurt. Yes you felt bewildered. Yes you felt unsettled.
But you also felt other things. You felt resentment. You felt anger. You felt betrayed.
She will feel these things also.
Can there be reconciliation when both spouses feel this way? Yes. But it is difficult. There has to be a genuine desire on the part of both spouses to heal the marriage...and this is difficult when both have been deeply wounded because both spouses are playing "gotcha."
Do you believe your wife will forgive you for hurting her? Do you believe she will fight for your marriage?
I always tell people--when you engage in a negative act do so with the worst case scenario in mind. It is the most honest assessment of what the future probably holds.
When people hurt us there is a strong urge to attack back.
If we dislike them hitting back makes us feel better. If we love them we believe hitting back will help them see they hurt us.
In reality the only thing hitting back does is cause bruises. So if your intention is to cause bruises…hit back. You will cause a bruise. But you will probably not obtain a result.
