EA then PA with her ex

[UpperCu]

Last night (Mon) I spoke on phone w MIL while out for a walk on my own - just such a relief to get some support from her.
Then when home MIL sent a Facebook message to my mobile and my wife saw it. So now she suspects/knows I have discussed with MIL - and W is white hot with anger.
Threats to tell all to my Dad etc etc
Lots of things being said/messaged to me - I am just not responding now. Reminds me of that quote about people showing you how they are
So generally not a great couple of days
Signing papers at the bank today
Am in hospital later in the week for a shoulder operation so can add that to the list of painful things to get through to a better future

Anaru, I can relate to this happening because in my sitch I've been contacted by all of my in-laws who know about the A.

IMHO, I think having family/friend support for both what is morally RIGHT and for the M itself, is crucial. It means your W had a solid moral foundation and she has strayed. Although she may not see it now, guilt should bring her back to the reality of what is really right.

Just be careful not to allow contact with your MIL to develop into a worse sitch where you become a parental figure towards your W. You and your MIL don't need to be sitting down deciding how best W should proceed with major life decisions. She needs to take ownership of the mess she has made and put on her BGPs.