BB, sorry you find yourself on this board. I will read your story when I have time. Working in the office with people around definitely helps me now. It was a disaster right after the BD. I was just not myself. I know what it’s like to be out of work when you cannot rely on anybody except yourself. Keep applying though, something will come around for you. And don’t lose the hope. The signing D papers could mean nothing. Look at me. My H hasn’t filed for D, but it’s been 2 ½ years since BD and there is no change in his decision to not be M to me. It could go either way. There is hope after D.
Update. I went to the vacation home. There was a festival in town, so there were so many people I knew. My friends were a bit stressed over what I expressed about our friendship, but they assured me that they love me and value me and want to remain friends. They confirmed that H is coming for Thanksgiving week and weekend. They said that I could come too, to which I replied that I would not feel comfortable, plus I don’t want H to get an impression that I’m trying to mend things (like he did at that time when I decided to come for the weekend while he was there.) Don’t know if I said the wrong thing though.
When I arrived over there I learnt that my mutual friend’s Mom was very sick and he needed to travel to another country to see her. Today I’ve learnt that she passed away. I think she was in her late 80th or something, so it was kind of expected. Nevertheless, my male friend was devastated in anticipation. Could he enter into MLC now? I doubt it, but who knows.
I met H’s friend over there, who lost his wife to cancer about 2 years ago. He is from Canada and stays at the vacation home place only during the winter time. I thing he was a bit surprised to see that I’m very put together, good looking woman. I feel he expected a nasty, wining b!tch, LOL.
Today at work I was reminded that it is a Veteran’s day. H is a veteran. So, my first thought was to text him wishing him happy Veteran’s day. I kind of hesitated for a while, thinking whether I should do it or not. Then I decided that this was my genuine and authentic desire to send him a message on this day. So I did. He replied with “Thank you. How was the vacation home”. Interesting, he used my text message to ask me a question he would not ask otherwise. I replied that it was wonderful, and attached a smiley face. No reply after that. I guess he doesn’t know how to respond to happy me .
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
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