So - I do feel a little better this evening. Coaching soccer in the brisk fall night really made me feel refreshed. The best part was when one of the girls said to D6 "Your mom is awesome and totally hilarious". 7 year old girls have excellent taste. It reminded me that I used to be able to make STBX laugh all the time, and its been years since that was the case.
And now, I have a confession.....I don't miss STBX. The first month he was gone, I missed him a lot but I've just felt no longings for him since the revelation about his living arrangements with OW. I ache for my children when they are wth him, so I know I'm not emotionally numb. Is this just a phase, part of the rollercoaster or am I just worn out from two years of his guilt?
I still would welcome the opportunity to piece our family together (although I continue to think there is no way the D can be avoided in 6 months), but right now that is more of a rational feeling than an emotional one.
