Sad and depressed is something I haven't let her see in a (short) while. The only time I see or talk to her is around my son. I am a pretty good dad, and know how to make him laugh, wonder and imagine. Something wife always said I was good at with all of our kids and something she admitted to not being great at. That's the only face she gets to see, and it's one that shows no sign of distress.
I was begging for a while. Not for reconciliation (well, a little of that....or a little more than a little), but just to talk and open lines of communication. I though it would be better for us all if she wasn't angry at me all the time and we could talk. This, of course, only served to make her angrier. I'm not doing that anymore. Not because I don't feel like I want to, but because it was - as I learned - counterproductive to what I was trying to achieve.
I'm living on coffee, Chinese food, beer and a sliver of hope. It's all I have, but at least I have that.
